Another Blog from my Daughter

My youngest daughter sees me writing now and then and she always wants to jump in and use the computer to save her thoughts for history as well.  I think it is cute to see her one finger typing at seven years old and only hope that she finds her way to occupational happiness in life.  If my recent foray into writing does nothing more than inspire my kids to read and write then it has been a success.  So many children today find their stimulation through TV or IPods or Video players or Video Games it is crazy.  Even books are now all electronic and I have to admit I still enjoy turning pages when I read.

Anyway below is her input to the logs of my life.

“Snuggling my sleepyhead sister and in the next bed my little dog is laying there enjoying a belly rub by my dads girlfriend .wile I am sitting in my bed waiting for breakfast so that I can go play with my nabbor  sooner. My dad is not”

I am still not sure what “I am not” but as long was somebody is then how can I complain.  My youngest daughter is going through some transition this weekend.  I am not sure if it is the dynamics of my girlfriend or she is just overly moody but she is not her normal social self.  All the kids are a little more on edge than normal.  I used to always say it took me a few hours to get them back into a relaxed mode after they came home from my ex-wife’s house.  I wonder if them having spent a week there has gotten them so stirred up they are having a more difficult time adjusting.

We just recently switched schedules to one week with me and one week with her exchanging the kids every other week.  That process is hard on the kids but I hope once they get used to it the timing will be easier since it means less back and forth effort throughout the week.

As in all things time will tell.

Divorce Update (Insanity)

Another divorce court hearing today and as you might imagine nothing completed.  No progress, nothing done, it is getting to be so sad that I didn’t even have to show up.  My attorney said that he had no paperwork from my wife ahead of time so it was a waste of my time to even go.

Is this ever going to end?  With the divorce rate as high as it is how do you divorced people do it.  I mean my god; at this point I could be dead from old age by the time I actually get the final paperwork.  There will be several people not happy about that and I personally will be heading the list.  Can she just bite the bullet and realize that life for us together has ended and she really needs to move ahead.

On the positive side, she did bring some paperwork to court.  It will be interesting to see what she asks for.  I am sure there will be something insane in there as she hasn’t done anything in this process like a normal person would expect.  She will probably want me to give up my right arm or something just so she will still have something to beat on even after I am gone.  If you can’t sense it yet, I am a little bitter than we are not through this fiasco yet.

Anyway, no progress to report.  Same old thing.

PS, next date is July 29th for anyone out there who is keeping track.  Four weeks from today.

Using an attorney in Divorce

First my advice to everyone and anyone out there contemplating divorce is; be careful what you ask for.  Depending upon your estranged spouse the journey down separation lane could be more volatile than the sparring you do as a couple.  There is nothing more bitter than a wife who is being spurned by her most recent husband.  I am speaking from experience.  If you find yourself at a point where you absolutely have to go down the path of death and destruction I would then suggest a mediator.  Just hire a very good mediation company and let them walk you through the process.  Listen to their advice, compromise whenever possible and for god sake if she wants the silverware then let her have the silverware.

If none of the above works then hire a damn good attorney.  Spend the extra money (not that money is always the barometer for good) but you will find that in most cases your better attorneys can charge a substantially hirer fee and then sit back and let him/her do the work.  Detach yourself from the process to whatever extent you possibly can and live your life.  That is why you are getting the divorce to begin with right?  You were unhappy with the way things were and you felt it made sense to move on to greener pastures.  You will sleep better at night, feel more comfortable with the outcome and enjoy a time of pure hate filled moments the best you possibly can.

I was not able to repair the marriage that I held with my soon to be ex-wife and after battling with her on incredibly stupid topics finally came to the conclusion that the mediation process was not for us.  I mean my god she fights me on whether or not my middle daughter lost her swimsuit at my house.  For twenty dollars my wife bought a swimsuit at Wal-Mart and was having a heart attack when it wasn’t brought back.  Can you say petty?  Anyway I hired a good attorney and life has been relaxing ever since.  I literally go into court having no idea what might be occurring and even what the topic of discussion will be but as long as my attorney shows up then let him face the brunt of the battle lines.  That is why he makes $400 per hour right.

My wife has chosen to represent herself in what I can only guess is one of the more colossal strategic mistakes.  I mean you are angry at best when you face your ex spouse and then to try and talk to a judge reasonably just doesn’t work.  My next court date is set for July 1st and it wouldn’t surprise me to find my wife facing contempt charges.  The judge is really fed up with her lack of preparation and constant interruptions in the proceedings.  I on the other hand might appear stupid which is fine by me but at least I walk out relaxed and ready to face the rest of my day with a smile.  Can’t ask for more than that I would say.

I only hope that this process ends soon.  I am growing tired of the anger and am now just looking forward to the end.

It is like waking up in the middle of the Postman (you remember Kevin Costner’s movie right) and realizing it isn’t over yet.  God just let the credits roll please.

He’s Just not that Into You

Snuggling up on the couch and watching a romantic comedy.  It just doesn’t get any better than that.  Another movie about relationships that work, that need work, that are just beginning and are just ending, this movie depicts the gambit on the flow of connectivity between a man and a woman and how some things work and some things just turn to crap.  It is filled with stars and for the most part they come through leaving you both sad and happy from the many ups and downs that you experience.  My favorite is Jennifer Aniston and Ben Aflack as they struggle with being happy yet not having the commitment of marriage.  Even with my jaded past I still believe in the formal union process and hopefully someday will connect strolling back down that aisle.

The premise of the movie is that women have been programmed their entire lives (since childhood) to believe it is ok for men to treat them like crap.  From beginning adolescence when a boy will call a girl a name or push her down in the playground it is depicted as boys showing their affection for girls in the only way they know how, by being mean.  It is a funny take on life and gives the movie a unique twist when it is hard to have unique twists in our sensory overloaded techno age being inundated with media at all angles.  I would question if men are really as mean as they are made out to be in the movie.  Not all men are as confident as shown and the male vulnerability can be easily viewed by walking down any cubicle filled office of engineers.  It is amazing that any of them actually get married.

The flip side is when Scarlet Johansson goes after a married man in the movie with no qualms about his current status.  I mean isn’t her happiness more important that anyone else’s.  She continually strings along another man on the side the entire time showing you that there are some women out there in the world that can play the game as well as any man.

Interestingly enough the movie has some happy endings and some sad ones as not all the relationships work out.  It is a very entertaining movie and for all of you out there in the world who are dying to know the answer to the question at hand, yes I did cry.  It wasn’t an all out bawling mind you but the tear did fall a little down my check as I quickly wiped it away avoiding notice by my partner who was openly weeping her heart out.  I have to keep some semblance of my manliness right.  I agree even though it might only be a small semblance.  Just for the record we are still talking about my emotional state of being not anything physical.

This is yet again another movie that I would strongly recommend for the casual fun filled romantic evening curled up in front of your Comcast on demand DVR.  This kind of movie always works better with a couple of glasses of wine and somebody to share it with would be my only recommendation.

Divorce Update Log 2834267

Everyone wants an update on the divorce saga especially since I headed off to court this week so here we go.

Absolutely nothing happened.  Not one damn thing.  Nothing.  Zero.  Complete waste of time.

I don’t really understand this process and since I found I was getting too worked up I honestly let my attorney do almost everything so I don’t have to get involved.  My ex-wife represents herself.  We showed up in court this week with all of our forms and files and piles and stuff and sat down as normal and waited for our turn in the family court of love.  Our name was called and my attorney and my ex-wife went back into the judge’s chambers.  She gets to go since she is representing herself and my attorney goes to do whatever it is that they do back there.  I sat in the cushy chair reading my most current book which I will write a review on shortly.

After about 5 minutes my ex-wife leaves and about 20 minutes later my attorney emerges.  He said that my ex had not prepared any documents and her response when the judge asked her why was that she was too busy and didn’t have enough time.  Hmmmm, that doesn’t seem like a good legal strategy to me but who am I to say.  I don’t really have a strategy other than doing whatever my attorney tells me to do in the hopes of bringing this to a conclusion as quickly as possible. 

So I shook hands with my attorney thinking to myself this probably cost me $500 but in the end it is all in good fun anyway so who really cares.  I walked back to my car and headed home.

Divorce (Another day in Court)

Heading out for another day of court in the ever popular saga (Divorce, A life in Hell) again today.

Is there a way to make this process any more time consuming, costly and all around unpleasant.  Maybe if possible upon seating they could plug in little battery connectors to everyone’s nipples and periodically zap random people as they waited their turn.  At least then it would be easier to stay awake and if it is random who knows you might not get hit if you were one of the first ones called up.

At times it almost seems like my ex-wife (wishfully placing a title on her) enjoys the process but I know she cannot.  She loses every time we step in the room.  This is only because in the beginning I offered her everything and she spitefully refused preferring to battle me out in the trenches.  It is almost like having 100 out of 100 pennies in your coffer and deciding to throw them all back in hopes that you will get all 100 returned.  Doesn’t seem logical to me but then again logic doesn’t rule in divorce court.  Just doesn’t happen my friend.

So anyway we are off for another battle later today.  Should be interesting to see what happens.  Good thing about having an accomplished attorney is I don’t even know half the time why I am going.  I just show up and let him do his things.  At $400 an hour he seems fine with that and for me it gives me the distance of having to deal with her directly.  Recently she has actually fired her attorney and is representing herself which adds an entirely new comic element to the picture.  Only so much advice I can give to her so I am done trying to help.  Let the chips fall where they might now I say.

Wish me luck.

I will update tomorrow on how the battle faired.  Assuming I didn’t lose any limbs and have maintained use of my vocal capacity.

Dual Personalities

A friend of mine that I have not spoken to in a long time got in touch with me through facebook.  It is a little odd for me at times since I don’t go by my real name but for all of my writing connections I use Duncan.  This of course causes problems with people I have not spoken to in a long while since nobody knows who Duncan is and why he would be talking to them.  I explain the name, the reasoning (ex-wife insanity) and they go along with it and we both at some point forget it is even an oddity.

He made a point of talking about what the name signifies and how the crossover from my writing to my personal life seemed like it would be too much to continue.  He suggested I open a facebook under my own name and if I wanted to keep Duncan that would be fine but ensure that my postings were separate and unique.  I think he feels that if I continue to blur the line between the two that at some point one or both of us might take on each other’s personality.  When the line between competing personas blurs the line between reality and fiction can blur as well.

Duncan is the main character in my book.  The book is written in first person.  Duncan is a serial killer who no longer has the ability to distinguish between right and wrong.  I am a simple financial accountant.  I work in a 9 to 5 job in an office and do not have any issues with violence at all let alone physically harming somebody.  I know the difference between black and white, right and wrong, ying and yang.  Duncan is a bad person.  I am simply an average person living an average life.

Duncan is not real.  I am real.  I am made of flesh and blood.  Duncan is made of pen and paper.  I think I am pretty clear on the ins and outs of who is who and what they mean.  Still he is an intelligent person.  He is somebody who doesn’t know me well now but several years ago knew me as a budding young adult.  His worry is not unique.  What if the lines did blur one day and I woke up not sure of who I was or what life I was living.  What if I crossed paths into another life and became that which I had created.  The birth of Duncan might play out in a different way than the very story that I had created from the inner recesses of my mind.  Maybe that was how he became anyway.  My inner personality crying to escape.

bahahahahahahahahaahahahaha

The Swimming Pool (A Teenage Short Story Part IV of IV)

“So”, Tony said, “No guests at our hotel are or would swim in this pool since you are basically swimming in the urine of four college boy’s form less than thirty minutes ago”.  With that he started laughing again making no attempt to control himself.  Marissa felt the nauseous feeling welling up inside her and from the corner of her eye she saw Sarah who was screaming at the top of her lungs heading for the stairs as fast as she could possibly move.  Marissa then followed as she too only wanted to get of the water before she puked all over herself and in the pool of urine.

                OMG, she couldn’t think about it anymore or she surely would find herself getting sick.  This might be the most disgusting way to start a summer that she could possibly think of.  Tony was still laughing and she swore if he hadn’t stopped by the time she got out she was going to ball up her fist and hit him square in the stomach.  How could he think this was that funny.  Sarah was now out of the water and she was jumping up and down like she was jogging in place.  Tony walked around the edge saying he hoped that they enjoyed the rest of the day but he had only one last thing to show them.

                Marissa was now out of the water as well, her face red with anger and embarrassment as she continued to stare at this boy who had just changed the focus of their morning.  All she could think about doing was getting home and taking a shower as quickly as possible.  She felt so unclean and swore that her skin was turning yellow.  Toby was on his way back and held the piece of paper from the door that he must have taken down.  She guessed that he was coming back to rub their faces even more in the stupidity of their recent actions.

                He handed the paper to Sarah, said again that he hoped they had a nice day and headed back inside.  Sarah looked at the paper and seemed confused and her eyes were rolling in multiple directions at once.  Marissa was unsure if she was going to faint or if she was losing her focus on reality.  What in the hell was wrong with her.  She handed the paper over to Marissa and she read the bold typed words clearly stating:  TOWELS FOR THE POOL CAN BE LOCATED IN THE OUTSIDE CLOSET TO THE LEFT OF THE DOOR.

                Marissa raised her head and saw for now the second time Tony double over in laughter just outside the door to the hotel pointing at them.  “You guys are too much”  She heard him say as he entered the door and headed inside.  She could hear him continue laughing as the sound slowly faded into the background.  OMG, he had lied to them.  He had made that crap up just to mess with them and they had fallen for it.  What was wrong with him.

                The two girls quickly gathered their clothes putting on their shorts over their bottoms and walked through the gate to the path heading back down by the beach.  There is no way that they could stay here as Tony periodically poked his head out laughing at them for being so stupid as to actually believe what he had said.  With every step they took the mood lightened and they eventually began laughing at what had occurred.

                Marissa was happy that she had not thrown up in the pool only to find out she was getting sick for nothing.  She was laughing so hard she could barely get the words out to Sarah explaining to her how close she had been to vomiting.  Sarah only remembered screaming at the top of her lungs.  She felt sure that everyone in El Granada had heard her and the two of them would be on the front cover of the Half Moon Bay Review for being the stupidest two girls on the coast.

                Headlines “Two girls that will believe anything anyone tells them get punked by gorgeous blonde beach boy who works at the beachfront hotel”.  Wouldn’t that be a great story.  The laughed some more as they headed in the general direction of Sarah’s house.  The rest of the day they walked around the streets eating lunch at Sarah’s not really doing anything else significant.  It might have been humiliating but at  least they had fun and now could say they had done something memorable.

                It would be difficult to top this mini adventure but as Marissa walked up the hill to her house she decided that she would put all her focus in making sure that she found something that would make this look small.  She didn’t know what it was but would soon find out she was not going to have to wait that long to find out.

Teenagers do Grow up

I was driving over after work to pick my kids up from their mother’s house yesterday.  Ever since our last court appearance their mother and I quote “will never drive them to my house again”, “EVER”.  She lost a pretty hefty ruling in the divorce settlement and the word bitter has never been more appropriate.  Ironically it is ending up exactly like I had told her it would.  Sadly for her, since I had offered her so much more in the beginning but as in our marriage she didn’t listen to me then so why would she ever listen to me now.

Anyway that was not the point of the story.  On the way back to my house my 15 year old daughter was sitting in the front seat and she as in most people who know me was asking why in the world I was so happy.  I am really beginning to wonder how sad I must have been as everyone, and I mean everyone who knows me continues to talk about my surge in joviality.  I tried to answer in a vague way but my daughter is rather bright and she honed in on the answer quickly enough but her response to my reason for happiness is what surprised me.  She stated “dad, I am glad for you.  If it makes you happy then I think that is fantastic”.

How mature is she getting?  She could have been upset or questioned my newfound catalyst for exuberant joy but instead she simply stated that she wanted what was best for me.  My heart almost melted as I told her that might have been the nicest thing she has ever said to me.  I am not sure what the future holds in the next few months but that moment was fantastic.  I am well aware that it will be difficult for her as our family continues to transition.  I also feel she is progressing in her growth and is beginning to recognize that life metamorphoses before your very eyes and while we are powerless to stop it we can embrace it if we try.

How can it possibly get any better than having three beautiful girls in my life that will always be there for me and who will love me completely and totally?  The only thing that I can think of would be possibly having four or five or ok that might be it.  I am not sure that I can handle much more than that.  I love them and all but by the end of things I will be having my own drama team and there is only so much drama one house can take.

The Swimming Pool (A Teenage Short Story Part III of IV)

Well, they were in.  I guess that is all that counted.  They took off their clothes and both stood in their swimsuits staring at the inviting pool.  Sarah took a running start and curling up in a ball mid air plunged into the pool full force.  Marissa quickly followed suit in the same fashion barely missing Sarah’s head as she catapulted through the air making a huge splash upon impact.  They had sealed the deal and were now criminals.  It didn’t seem like they were criminals and as crimes go it was rather innocent but it added a level of excitement to the scenario.

                They commenced splashing each other as they chased around the small pool not taking the time to notice much around them.  As most teenagers go they were as self absorbed as the next one.  It was only with a shrill high pitched screaming cry that Marissa hurtled through the air that broke their playful bantering as she saw the boy in uniform staring at them from the side of the pool.

                He had full blonde curls with sandy brown streaks wore white pants with a blue/white striped shirt that made him appear sailor like as he stoically watched them forming a slight frown on his face.  He was very tan looking to be in the 16 to 17 year old range and was absolutely totally and completely smoking cute.  As Marissa’s scream started to tail off and she began the process of closing her mouth she noticed the name tag located on his chest and said the word “Tony” out loud.

                He smiled at her now and nodded his head in her direction.  “Yes”, he said.  “My name is Tony.  I work for the hotel cleaning pools and my guess is that you two ladies are not currently guests.  I know most of the guests who are currently checked in and I don’t remember  you two being one of our current customers.”  He had barely gotten the words out of his mouth when Marissa was instantly responding that he was incorrect and yes not only were they customers but their parents would be extremely upset if they were caught talking to a strange boy so it might be best if he left them alone.

                Lying to Marissa came so easy, the words flowed from her mouth at times before she realized what she was even saying.  She knew that it was wrong to lie but they just came out so naturally that she sometimes felt she was not the one in control of her words.  Sarah had stopped splashing and now just stood staring moving her head back and forth between Marissa and Tony as their eyes were locked in a battle of wills.  She only paused to admire Tony and how gorgeous he was.  They really shouldn’t make guys that cute she thought to herself it just wasn’t fair.

                Tony started laughing now as the girls remained in the pool not backing down from this recent confrontation as once Marissa began a lie she always followed it through to completion.  She would argue her lie as the truth until she was backed into a corner and had no other choice but to confess or she convinced the other party that she was right.  It was throwing her off that he was laughing and she finally yelled at him to stop and asked him what he could possibly find so funny.

                He was now bending over holding his stomach laughing so hard and pointing in their direction.  This was really starting to annoy Marissa and she was reaching a point where she had about enough of this annoying boy no matter how damn cute he might be.  He finally stopped long enough to say “don’t you even want to know how I am 100% sure that you are not guests at this hotel?  Do you want me to tell you how I know for a fact that you are lying?”  “Fine” Marissa yelled back at him.  “Go ahead and let us in on your little funny joke Mr. Tony.”

                Tony pointed back at the glass door leading into the hotel hallway and said “do you see that note there on the door.  That piece of paper that is taped.”  Marissa nodded in acknowledgment.  She did indeed see the piece of paper.  “Well” Tony said, “On the other side of that paper facing the inside of the hotel for all guests to see before they enter the pool is a warning.”  “A warning that simply states the college boys that are currently guests in the hotel were caught less than 30 minutes ago pissing in the pool.”  “Please refrain from swimming as there were four of them and it will take several hours to get the pool back to a clean safe environment.”